[D'FinzZ] A Story Begins...

2012-01-28T16:34:00.000+08:00

Monthly routine.

locked

2012-01-23T19:38:00.001+08:00

Signed sealed delivered.
Let all seals be sealed.
Let all locks be locked.
To only the ryt key it be
Unlocked.

2012-01-12T22:45:00.002+08:00

Everything is just nt ryt.
We r nt like before. Heck..
Things a nvr gonna b the same again..
This is like a one way thing..
Haiz..if it goes on like this..
It may and will affect me.

2011-11-27T00:06:00.000+08:00

My super cute gf is mad at me.
As always... I cnt make her happy.
I lack of all that.

ya

2011-11-26T23:39:00.000+08:00

Me me me me me me me.
I I I I I I I I I I
Saya saya saya saya
Wo wo wo wo wo wo

2011-11-23T21:36:00.002+08:00

Let it sink deep dwn below.
Let it hurt n let no one knws.
I'm nvr seen the protagonist,
But always has the heart of it.
But now fuck it I don't care.
Cuz whatever it is, if shit happens.
I am the antagonist.
irregardless.

2011-11-23T21:27:00.001+08:00

Shit happens.
P.S this one is a huge pile.

2011-10-29T23:40:00.001+08:00

I don't wish to be labeled as bf
Who neglects gf cuz tired due to work.
And I still do want to spend tym with u even
Despite that state.

2011-10-28T23:18:00.000+08:00

JTB.
Well...

2011-10-23T21:14:00.000+08:00

Nobody said it was easy...

2011-10-11T07:09:00.002+08:00

Like
Airplane with turbulences.
Protein shakes blending
Economy graph declining
Sliding down the slide
Fast craft in the choppy waves.
Vehicle breaking down.
Complications in life.

2011-10-11T01:21:00.002+08:00

Just when I thought things could get any better.
Things became worse piling up the load.
I need those things.
When times are like this,
Its crazy

I turn to u, allah.
Only you understands.
Help me ya allah.
No on else can but u.

2011-10-11T00:41:00.001+08:00

Fuck sia.

2011-10-10T21:35:00.000+08:00

I just don't knw. I feel complicated.

2011-10-09T01:35:00.000+08:00

FUCK ALL OF U!! FUCK!

2011-10-08T22:46:00.000+08:00

Noone is blaming u. U blamed it on urself. After our fight last week, i had high hopes on this rship. Cause we managed to overcome that big fight, and so i had hopes that it will last. I thought our bond is strong enuff to go thru that together.But it seems like that are just false hopes now. Yes. Im the weaker one in this rship. I dont make decisions. I believe, in ur future rship, u'll find a better woman who can decide.who dont blame u. Im sorry arifin for troubling ur life these 4 years. And thanks for the wonderful memories. You taught me alot awak. U made me who i am now today. Thanks for everything. You made the right decision to dump me. I dont deserve someone as good as you. Once again, thanks for everything.

P.S. Heck. I m nt even watching this movie. I'm tearing.
Literally tears.fuck.

2011-10-06T18:37:00.001+08:00

This whole rehearsal is
A waste of tym.

No appetite.

2011-10-06T08:59:00.000+08:00

I missed lotsa things.

arifin's sorrow blog

2011-10-02T09:23:00.001+08:00

Frm tday, this is my sorrow blog

2011-10-02T09:21:00.000+08:00

Why can't it just be like last tym?
Where we r all so happy?

2011-10-01T23:34:00.002+08:00

I know myself that I'm tired.but my intentions
Was just to spend tym with you.
Show my presence and concern that I still care abt this
Rship.
I sacrificed my rest to spend tym with u more.
Hoping that its seen appreciated.
I don't wish to make you feel worse when I
Say I won't be going out with you just bcuz with
A reason that I'm tired. Every week I'm tired.
Its just that I being a guy, ur bf, is trying my best to
Be responsible enuff to spend tym with the gf and nt neglect her. But its nvr easy to juggle.I expected u to nt
Get mad and just nudge when I dozed off during the show, yet, u get mad.
Tym will tell.
To show u that what I said was ryt.
Working is nvr nt tiring.I don't wana argue abt it.
I'll suck it up.
Cuz its my fault partly to accidentally dozed off.
Its always like this.
I planned to make things better, make up for it,
Yet, it backfires.I'm sick of this.
Now I m going to have whatever attitude. Whatever will be will be.I just give up. I'm putting in effort, but it doesn't look like an effort to u. Frm my eyes.

2011-09-30T01:51:00.000+08:00

I just wanted to..
But,
I just can't...

P.s. Respect.its tough.

2011-09-26T12:31:00.000+08:00

Army taught me this.
Suck it up.

2011-09-26T04:00:00.002+08:00

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING WITH MY LIFE!!!
I have so much things and pressure!
All I thought things can go better
When GF is patient with me when I'm having fuckload
Of problems trying to keep me cool when I'm pressured,
Even I gave her that cold shoulder cuz of all tis fuck shit in my head,
Now SHIT happens AGAIN.
I HAVE PAn TEST Issues with the coy,
Preparing and handling missing items that costs THOUSANDS
OF DOLLARS!
DEMANDING PEOPLE at work!
Juggling My personal life trying to
Even find enough rest every SINGLE NIGHT,
Is already KILLIng me cuz of the Fuckload of work!
And now girlfriend thinks I'm useless cuz
She don't feel that I as if like don't exist in her life!
And that makes me feel worse! Argh!!!
I wan to crY! I want to shout out LOOUD! I JUST WANT
LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!
I'm LIKE A LIVING ZOMBIE!!
HECK!
What am I to do! I can't calm myself DOWN!!!!!!

2011-09-21T07:16:00.002+08:00

Thanx.
Thanx to u PS. Ur absence and presence
Just doesn't make a difference.
You just let us suffer. I have to be tasked more
To stand in for u.
I have my section men to
Take care of,
The company's equipment for pan tes,
And now,
The platoon?!
Even their admin stuff?
I will nt respect you.
You just bring us dwn.
Ppl always ask ur whereabouts
And I just say,
I DON'T KNW.
Thnx to you,
You made me feel that working here
Is SHIT.
P.S nobody, just cares.selfish. At least cooperate
And be PATIENT.
But instead I have to be the one to be patient.
Ya allah, let there be light at the end of this.insyallah.
I'm tearing in this bus alr.alone.just alone.

heck

2011-09-11T19:35:00.000+08:00

I think I'm a screwed up A-hole.

Preesure

2011-09-11T07:24:00.001+08:00

There is a thing called pressure n stress when driving.
Nvm.
Now i really need to learn to
Suck it up.
P.s just imagine. Baru gitu je dah bergasak.
Kalau prob lagi besar...
How?

Psst

2011-09-10T23:49:00.000+08:00

I feel diss-ed.

2011-09-02T09:27:00.001+08:00

Anything cn happen.
Don't be too happy arifin.

2011-09-01T18:24:00.001+08:00

Its tough.
Whatever it takes for the benefit of us.

no more

2011-08-27T21:14:00.001+08:00

Hugs
Kisses
Holding hands
Means of affection
Everything of that sort.
For/frm me.

mimosa.

2011-08-27T17:45:00.000+08:00

Nt even that.

Lose_____.

2011-08-26T18:19:00.002+08:00

Hope
Sense of affection
Weight
Freedom
Feeling of affection
Feeling of fulfillment
Some things that was planned for.

Ps. Clouds that are heavy,releases rain.
A heart that is heavy, releases tears.

haiz

2011-08-26T12:53:00.001+08:00

Back blast check back blast... FIRE! Arghhh!!!
Negative negative!
Not clear!!

Urgh.

2011-08-25T09:50:00.001+08:00

Love.love love love love love? Love love love!

arah tujuan,navigation

2011-08-19T20:31:00.001+08:00

Its getting worse. Haiz.

arah tujuan,navigation

2011-08-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

Its getting worse. Haiz.

dumbfound

2011-08-19T19:00:00.002+08:00

"Baru rs,bukan kahwin"?!
I'll just take note of that.

P.s.its nt emotional. Its abt how much
love.heart.soul.

2011-08-16T15:53:00.001+08:00

Everything just past by so fast.
Hopefully everything go as planned insyallah.
Anything can happen in 3 yrs time.
Will I get to further my studies after serving
This bond?
Will I get to have the experience of marriage
And a family?
Will I get to live the dream that I wished for?

Allah sahaja yang tau.

being the eldest son. n being that green shirt guy.

2011-08-13T00:24:00.003+08:00

I don't want the rs built
For the past yrs just go
Dwn the drain bcuz of smth small.

I can't control certain stuff regarding work
I know this tym will come.
I have expected it.
And it comes at the wrong tym.
I cnt do much.
If we're fated to b together,
Together it is.

If she really cnt take it.
We're nt fated to be together,
Then it is.
I just don't wana hurt anybody else.
I don't mind hurting inside alone.
Hurting in silence just shadowing it inside.
I'm sick n tired of this.
Thanx to work n commitments.

2011-08-10T11:38:00.001+08:00

Ya allah,
Why is my life full of downs and nt up?
M nt complaining. But I feel sandwiched.

2011-08-10T00:31:00.003+08:00

So I guess no such girl can tahan
A bf working in the army.
I know I cnt change a lot of things.
And things planned may back fire.
If it just hates u in whatever I do.
I guess this won't last.

Cuz all I knw is this problem os going to
Drag for long. I knw hw u feel but I feel it too
And I cnt do anything.
If u r sick of it, I guess I'm nt that mr. Right.

If I cn be patient, and trying my best to look okay
Even though I'm nt,tahaning all the things that I hate
Like the quality tym, the everything abt civilian life.
I just don't see why you cnt.
I'm sry.
If I screw up.I have always tried to make it better,
But all that is seen are the flaws. So, yeah.
I'm just trying my best putting effort.

P.S. If only I can cut myself into 4; family,work,girlfriend,life.

dear world

2011-08-04T18:14:00.002+08:00

I know that am a reliable person and all.
And you wanted to showcase me to everyone
So as to allow me to gain a better reputation and
Bonus.
Yet, I still do feel that I am comfortable
At where I am and I do not wish to keep pushing
Myself and be pushed with projects and tasks till
I can't manage.

I still do wish to breathe and take a slow pace at times. And I'm not in need or have the greed for cash. I'm happy at my current state alhamdulillah.

So please, I know u want me to be the best. But please,
At least accept me for who I am cuz I am still trying to do my best at my own capabilities and time.

P.S guide me allah.

2011-07-27T16:21:00.001+08:00

Aper seh ni?!
Jgn bkin perangai ah eh?
Bkin keje kene, tak bkin keje pon kene?
Aper seh?!
Gini mcm aku tk bkin keje sudah.
I dint give u attitude n problem,
Now u give me all those?
Don't let me give u that.
The other 3 have alr gave u that.

P.S . Allah saja yang tau.

2011-07-24T20:30:00.001+08:00

Just when I thought I would be happy
Today,
I feel sad.
You seemed lonely.
I feel guilty.
I have to part cuz of fam.
I have no choice it was last min.
Sry...

P.S. Happy 40 mnths together love.I will always cherish the happy moments of us together. XOXO

2011-07-22T22:06:00.000+08:00

No more. Unlike the past.
Totalled.
When?
Forgot.
That's it.

2011-07-19T16:07:00.000+08:00

The Xs and the Os...
P.S. Self check

2011-07-18T21:56:00.003+08:00

I hope u like that lovely gift.
Its smth small. Nvrtheless to me its
Smth frm my big heart..

I don't wish any gift..
The best gift is having you
Present in my life.
Thnx love.:)

P.S.what is life, if there aren't challenges.:)

2011-07-15T17:03:00.003+08:00

APerangai babi mcm sial.
Kau pikir kau banyak bagus per?!
Kalau kau bagus sangat,
Kau dtg sini ah!

Kalau kau ade perangai,
Aku pon ada lah sial.
Kau pikir aku senyap kau bleh pijak pe?
Kalau kau pikir kau bleh jadi comd,
Dah lama kau kene hantar gi saner la.

2011-07-12T09:27:00.000+08:00

I think...
I'm gonna be screwed by my mates and men
On my bday..
Mati.

Waaaa! Can't wait for monday's off.
I've yet to get the present. Erk.
Jialat.

sundays/book in days

2011-07-10T19:41:00.002+08:00

I hate this day.
Men start calling n messaging telling their nt bookin on tym.
Its like taking care of children.
Worse than kids at tyms when they create problems.
Headache.

And in the end,
It affects my personal life n time.
Till it may affect my mood.
And it affects the ppl ard me cuz they will
Feel it.
Especially gf and fam.
Sry..

P.S. I missed the warmth of a hug. Sometimes
I'm just plain shy. To ask for one.cuz I knw..
Its like a gem.

2011-07-08T11:19:00.001+08:00

....

Till when the plan backfired, I get really
Pissed off.

And yeah.. I am just emotional inside.
Trust me.

Very.
P.s. Its true. Believe it.

quotes.

2011-07-04T17:10:00.002+08:00

I kinda liked this quote from one MV,

'When you feel all alone in this world
and there is nobody to count your tears,
Just remember,
No matter where you are,
Allah knows'

see saw

2011-06-30T19:02:00.002+08:00

LIt has been quite awhile,
Since I've updated this.
Things have been going up and down.

Nth much to say, but well...
Life now is kinda sucky. Lately
For the past few days, hp has been
Quiet..
Unsure if its because of me or something else.

I feel so sian and low when even though I get weekdays off, I still need to do weekend duties and return back..
Its like no diff.. Haiz..

I have 43 more months.. Tahan tahan tahan.
Feel bad.. No tym for gf,friends,family.

P.s. Ggahh! I need strength allah.

2011-06-06T13:47:00.002+08:00

I don't knw. Where has my patience gone to.
Or is it. Others just can't tahan and be flexible
With me anymore...
Or the mutual understanding part has changed to only
One way..

I feel lonely now.. Things are not like before.
P.S. I'm feeling dwn like for nuts.

2011-06-03T19:31:00.004+08:00

Sometimes.. I wana go home so that i cn feel the world around me. The freshness
of the air outside. The freedom to be free.The happiness.
But Just when i want all of this.After i stepped out of the place,
feeling so eager, to feel all of this, Shit just happens. One after another.
Is the shit load inside not enough that it had to carry on outside?

Thanks by making it worse mum. Thanks. Now i just have to binge on something
later. OR. Just bury this SHIT feeling deep inside.
Its okay. I dont wana share with anybody. Even without Sharing them,
I have already hurt others. Thnx to the side effects of the tension of
being in there and being with the people who are from there.

Maybe that is why i dont wana share. Cuz i will keep hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and hurting and huring and.... hurting myself and others.

in there, Its never because of the ppl below me. But its always the top.
Out here is just the people whom... well... i thought they could understand and that includes you mum. AND THE FAMILY AND WHOEVER IN THIS WORLD WHO KNOWS ME...
Yet ... this things just happens.

"Ah yelah. pikir rumah ni mcm hotel. tu lah yaya. ni lah mentang2 dah ader duit.Pikir dah besar."

Im seriously not hard up for the money. you want it? Take it ah. I just want happiness.I dont care about my pay. Cuz all i know i dont spend it freely. I THINK BEFORE USING THEM.Come on la. I book out not to stay inside another block of walls doing nothing. I want fresh air. Can i just take breathers? Its nvr about the people whom i go out with. ITS JUST I CHOSE TO GO OUT TO HAVE SOME FREEDOM. GOT IT?! EVEN IF IM AT HOME, YOU ARE NOT. IF ITS NOT ABOUT MY DAMN JOB, I WILL BE HOME. EVERY NIGHT. GET IT? WHATEVER LAH SIA, WHATEVER. I DONT CARE ABOUT MY LIFE.

I GET MARRIED ANOT, I GET A DEGREE ANOT, I HAVE A HAPPY LIFE ANOT, I DONT CARE. JUST TO PLEASE THE PEOPLE AROUND ME, I WILL JUST. SUCK. IT. UP. EVEN IF I HATE TO DO IT.
YOU SHOULD BE LUCKY I AM YOUR SON. AND NOT LIKE OTHERS WHO ARE HECK WORSE THAN ME. AND YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY CUZ I THINK OF MY FUTURE. SO THAT I DONT HAVE TO BURDEN YOU.

PERIOD. I JUST WANA FLY HIGH BE FREE.
I WANT HAPPINESSS.

2011-05-14T12:55:00.000+08:00

I'm trying my best to reserve
Some tym and space just for you.
But...

Haiz

2011-05-08T17:37:00.002+08:00

No more... anymore..
Anyway.. something to keep me from dozing off.
and... being Effed by Them.

Malay poetry.

Aku duduk berdiam diri,
menulis warkah di kertas ini,
Tertulis kisah kursus ku,
Di atas nota dan pena berdakwat biru.

Ia bagai mencacak duri2 berbisa,
menahan kegelisahan dan keperitan,
diherdik,ditengking sentiasa,
Namun ku hiraukan dan menahan.

Adakah ini perjalanan hidupku?
penuh onak dan duri,
berbisa tak henti2?
membanting tulang bekerja, berlatih, berejam2 waktunya.

Aku hairan,
bagaimanakah mereka, penuh dgn keringat,
menahan keperitan ini,
bukan kerana terpaksa
tetapi dgn rela hati.

Apakan daya,
pilihan sudah tiada,
pelayaran ini masih jauh di sana.

Demi kerana masa hadapan,
yang ingin ku kecapi,
aku redha ya allah,
menahan keperitan ini.

insyallah akan ku kecapi,
apa yang ku inginkan,
ya allah,
berikanlah aku kesabaran dan ketabahan
mengharungi semua ini.

Amin.

P.S. Randomness.

pray for meee!!

2011-05-03T20:42:00.001+08:00

Woah.. I just can't believe it now is the tym for me to go for the conversion. I'm excited and worried at the same tym..! So many weekends gonna be sacrificed. But at least a weekend each week pleasee? Ya allah give me strength pls!
Lovee I love uuuu!!!
Sorry I cnt speak to u much when my course starts.
P.S. I love youuuuu....

Well....

2011-05-01T13:51:00.002+08:00

Fuh... 1 week of off is sooo short. How i wish it was longerr.
Somehow i am nervous yet excited for my conversion
Nxt week.
I hope i will do well for it.
Guys doa for me pls. Cus its not easy.

To girldfriend...im sry..
I know im nt your best and up to ur expectations.
If you do love me. Tahan abit more kay?
Its abt 46 more mnths?
Insyallah. Its fast.

P.s ya allah, guide me. Amin

2011-04-27T00:23:00.001+08:00

From today onwards. I will be that person.
how many years back.

2011-04-27T00:10:00.001+08:00

If its to that point where trust is the main concern,
I think thats it. It will be shaky.
Im afraid. Thats it.

2011-04-26T23:48:00.000+08:00

See? i know..
All this while i have never been a gd boyfriend.
I know that.
Im not up to ur expectations.

2011-04-24T23:10:00.002+08:00

Andddd im bck frm bruneiiii!
It was indeed memorable!
Everyone got closer n bonded...
Colours seen and memories engraved...
Got an eye injury thereee; cornea ulceration..
Erkk. But alhamdulilla it is recoveringgg:):)
Sooo....
One part is done! Next is the....
Thing that im excited yet nervous n worried about.
GCC.
P.S. Ya allah pls give me strength to go through all these
Tough tyms and challenges. Amin!

HAiz

2011-03-29T22:40:00.002+08:00

i feel guilt. It has been ages since i updated my blog.
Haiz. Busy is always the word for me.
Ever since all these started.
I feel shit.
Im heading for brunei this saturday.
I hope everything goes well.
girlfriend is hating me. Thanx to my job.
I cant do anything. heck.

______________________________________________________

I just got back from a 2 day character development and
career management course.
This course teaches you how to manage stress under
pressure. It also teaches each individual to know
who he is. what kind of person he is. and who
should he mix around with.

So... we did this D I S C test.
And my results are....

I am a DIPLOMAT! :)

Ther exhibit a kind nature that is also very detail
oriented. They care about peole and posses the qualities
that make them very meticulous at task completion.
They want a steady environment which promotes security.
Usually they think issues through carefully,
weighing how a decision will affect other indviduals.
they want facts and figures before they make a decision.
They feel uneasy when put in a situation where they feel
deserted, or when forced to make a quick decision especially
when affect others. Diplomats like people but refer only few
close friends. Give a choice, they would choose a small grp
compared to a crowd. They are highly sensitive and do not handle
criticisms well as they always tried their best.
They often keep their feelings to themselves and others are not
aware of their strong beliefs and principle. They are loyal to
leaders they support and excellent team players. They believe this
attitude of 'others before self' and always being labelled as 'mr nice guy'.
They are naturally inrtoverts and their they can be taken advantage of, when
seen to be weak as they usually love to help others even though their tight schedule.
Learning to say 'NO' is not part of their dictionary.

------------------------------------------------------------

i dont knw. u judge me. Im sry. i feel empty. ever since.

ya allah

2011-03-10T19:22:00.001+08:00

Ya allah. I know I shouldn't whine.
But why am I in this situation?
Is there a hakikat behind all this?
Ya allah please ease my life slightly..
Please allah.

why

2011-03-10T07:48:00.003+08:00

I totally hate it when I see these
Numbers on my phone looking
For me. They just bring my heart
Rate and my pressure to escalate.

And I want everything to go
Back to normal again. I feel
Empty and lonely. It isn't as colourful
As before. Haiz.

P.S I want it back to normal. Pls.

why

2011-03-10T07:48:00.002+08:00

2011-03-06T16:59:00.001+08:00

I guess i will not open my mouth unnecessary alr.
Everything just seemed so wrong.
I will just suck it up.
Let the pain fill up to the brim.
P.S. Inside out quivalence

2011-03-03T19:47:00.001+08:00

By the way.
Insyallah, if i get a scholarship, i wana get married by 28 or 29.
=)

Alhamdulillah

2011-03-03T19:43:00.002+08:00

All praise to Allah.
I got to go for a stay out course.
This gives me the chance to see my loves (family and sayang!)
everyday for the past 5 days? inclusive of weekends.
I thank Allah for this.
Now its time to enter again= dread.
Even though its been a year,
I cant wait to finish this.
Who cares if is 4 years left.
Im gonna serve and THE END.
Got it?
P.S. Ya allah, guide me through. insyallah

Flame

2011-02-15T09:51:00.002+08:00

Day by day, based on the things that's
Happening..
The flame is getting smaller..
I'm just tired being used.
I just cnt wait for 4 more years.

On another note,
I missed celebrating maulid nabi like last tym.
Cn I go pls?

P.s. 12 rabiulawal. Kelahiran seorang nabi. Ya muhammad.

early birds

2011-02-08T04:28:00.002+08:00

Usually we have to wake up damn early like
345 in the morning.. To wait.
Bagaikan pepatah ingeriss diterjemahkan
Melayu, bergegas untuk menunggu, menunggu untuk
Bergegas.
Akan ku tunggu masanya dimana
Ia tepat pada waktu yang ditetapkan nya.
Aku tidak sabar untuk menebar sayapku
Dimana aku kan terbang di langit tanpa
Sebarang kesusahan.
P.S. I can't wait for that moment when it says
Freedom. Insyallah

Perceptions

2011-02-05T10:30:00.002+08:00

Some ppl just have their positive mindsets while some are always negative... Though some are partial..so I guess I'm the partial one.. So I met this new friend called ayub..:)
He is ryt.. We somehow faced the same thing..
P.S I guess that day will come.insyallah

I'm hvgjuba....

2011-02-01T16:09:00.002+08:00

Whenever its tym to go in..
I'm just so afraid..afraid to make mistakes..
Any mistakes I do is like a black dot
On a blank piece of white paper..
I dread going in..
It's just the hostility there..
Apart frm the minor2 ones of cuz..
Ya allah.. Berikanlah aku semangat dan ketabahan
Untuk mengharungi ni semua..

P.s. I want this to end fast.

back frm test

2011-01-29T23:28:00.001+08:00

They treated us as if we were robots. Its crazyyy.
With that load.. Going so farr..
Now aches everywhere..
Though, we made it in the end..
P.s. It made us bolder.
P.s.s I cn nvr carress anyone.even to show my affection. Tk bleh dibelaibelai..haiz.

the one that means I didn't expect.

2011-01-25T07:57:00.002+08:00

Now everyone is dreading...
I just wished that things weren't the
Way it is now..
If only I have my past.
Nvm ipin.. Think of this as
The liability that all need to complete.
My work will only start after my official
'After liability' date.
P.S. I just have that 4 more years to go.

Jobs!

2011-01-23T10:24:00.001+08:00

Mum quit her job!(like finally)
Finally i get to eat her used-to home cooked food.
SEDAAAP!!!
HAHA....

P.S Im not sure abt the financially part though.

The thing called L-I-F-E

2011-01-22T00:22:00.002+08:00

LIFE PLANS.

There are things in LIFE that you hope to achieve.
So Am I.
But some achieved it with ease while some otherwise.
And im the Otherwise.

So...
SUCK IT UP ARIFIN?

And...
Being with the men isnt that bad.
We have to learn their style of living the world.
Though,
I have been in service for 10 mnths alr!

2011-01-20T23:16:00.000+08:00

just gt back frm the nature..
i m totally squeezed dry
mentally physically inside out..
bruises n aches evrywhere!
cn I have a free massage pls?
p.s. trust the moonlyt.

Toouchdown

2011-01-15T20:29:00.001+08:00

Ever since ive touched down at bedok...
i feel emotionally unstable..
i just need my loved ones for support..
Argh..

P.S Ya allah...

things... blabbers

2011-01-10T18:58:00.000+08:00

Most of the people ard me... are all having the same mindset
upon experiencing it... So i guess we are tahaning through ryt guys??!

Rants

2011-01-10T07:02:00.003+08:00

As they say... your life is nvr smooth sailing.
How i wish it is..
Ya allah..
berikanlah aku ketabahan melayari hidup ini..
I love my gf..
i wana be with her for as long as i can..
Ya allah..
PLs let this 5 yrs be something that i did not dread ya allah..

P.S. insyallah... 4 and a few mnths left..like secondary school..

2010-12-26T16:30:00.002+08:00

WOW! it has been sooooo long sinces ive updated this blog...
Had been very busy lately... thanks to this career..
Everything now seemed so shaky... im so afrad of loosing lotsa things.
It all links up to that 1 thing..
Haiz...
Im scared that things dont happen the way that i foresee.
May allah guide me through.
Anyway! i will be a so called leader in a team of 7 guys including me.
These people consists of mostly guys who did not complete O levels or just with O levels... They are some mischievous people.
I have to gain their trust and RESPECT!
Its a challenge. cuz im like a stranger to them taking over their current so called leader....
I am so not sure what is going to happen to me till June 2012.
BUT. I Knw. I will lead them. all the way to THAT DATE.
Insyallah.
To You,
I know. i have nvr been the best. But i will try and do my best to be one.
P.S. I need my life. BACK.

heading to taiwan

2010-11-13T16:18:00.003+08:00

I cant believe that im going taiwan later.
haiz....im gonna miss my gf alot..
Even though i will miss her in silence.....
haiz...

And i just got my pay... and in a few days.. GONe.
Thanks to taiwan trip.. and .. some other things
that i have to pay cuz i have no choice...
Haiz... and its every mnth..
I just feel sad when sometimes... my cash gets depleted not
because of my spending, but smth else...

Anyway... i hope that this 3 weeks is gonna be fast..
cuz im goin there with this wisdom tooth coming out.. and
without any excitement at all. compared to cambodia,bintan and cameron.
haiz....

P.S. 3 weeks is gonna be fast. insyallah.

2010-11-08T07:09:00.000+08:00

finally im going to get my sgt rank insyallah... many hurdles coming up..am nt sure if im up for it..but allah will b by my side....anw.....gonna have my rest till i depart for taiwannn....
wana spend tym with the loved ones b4 the trip....

2010-11-07T05:15:00.001+08:00

what a weekend... next sat im already leaving for taiwan.. unlike the cambodia trip,cameron trip,bintan trip, i dont feel excited at all..
i just want tis 5 yrs to past n fly fast...sry gf u have to tolerate this...
p.s thnx for being there fo me..even though there are hiccups..i love u.alot

2010-11-07T05:15:00.000+08:00

2010-11-02T15:49:00.004+08:00

it has been quite some time since i write here.
thanks to all this thats coming to me..
one blow after another...
I read her post...
it made me teared...
i still remember those days...it was really really happy fun moments we had..
Now i just feel so..
diff...
just because im really short.
short of time and freedom..
I totally blame myself for having this coming towards me..
but maybe there is a reason to it.. only HE who knows..
Dear, im sorry that this happens to you..
i too want my life back... i just want to get rid of this heavy weight on my shoulders...
P.S Ya allah, pls let this 5 years go very very quickly...I need my life for me,myfamily,and US.

MY LIFE

2010-10-16T22:21:00.002+08:00

Life is abt
enduring pain and suffering,
grievances,
nvr always enjoying,
others before self,
going through hardships and challenges,
living to b the best that you can be,
even when you know there are others who are better.
Its all abt sucking it up.
Or.
Sucking thumb.

2010-09-28T12:51:00.001+08:00

haiz... i know life is tough..
It still have to go on for the next... prolly
5 yrs...
Erk

2010-09-24T21:23:00.000+08:00

There is only one.
ya allah. u know.

P.S Haiz..

2010-09-22T22:02:00.001+08:00

semakin hari, aku rasa tertekan
bukan kerna diri ku,
tetapi dgn sekitaran ku.

Am i that low level/standard?
P.s. Im as fresh as them. unlike the experienced ones..

2010-09-10T10:49:00.002+08:00

Eff it.
Ppl is losing hope.
Cuz of me.
I am the source and the cause.
FML. Alot. Alot Alot.

2010-09-07T14:45:00.003+08:00

I know.
Juggling tym with family, relationship and friends is never easy.
I already foresee things will crash and tumble.
I know..
I will never be that person that all of u expect me to be.
Cuz i know..
Its hard. being me.
im sry. all of u.

2010-09-07T13:56:00.000+08:00

I believe im not good enough for anybody.
P.s. Good for nth person.

2010-09-07T11:54:00.001+08:00

Bloody hell.
There is never a time i didnt disappoint ppl isit?!

2010-09-02T16:52:00.001+08:00

I realised that field camp,route march and all the other physical activities
during fasting is making me lose weight...
And i believe im going off form.
I need to start building muscles again!
1st day raya maybe ada tym. hehe...

P.S. physical fitness turning point = Selamat hari raya.

:)

2010-08-27T11:19:00.001+08:00

I know.. i am not that person who has all the tym
that i want..
I know that i have that career that has demands...
I know.. that i am that guy who lacks alot...

2010-08-26T15:58:00.002+08:00

I seriously believe.. that insyallah,
I will not waste the opportunities given to me..
I will do my best for all 4 interviews to gain that entry..
No matter how hard it is...
Ya allah, If this is my path, let it be ya allah..
I accept it..
Ya allah.. sesungguh nya aku terima apa yang telah
engkau bebrikan kepada ku..

P.S. go with the flow.. like the wind..